My love - are you gatekeeping your own confidence?
Have you locked it behind this idea that there is something you need to achieve or obtain or experience or a certain place you need to get to first AND THEN you will know that you are ready to “do the thing” or “be the one” you ultimately want to be?
Yesterday, I witnessed a HUGE moment that I thought was going to be extremely gratifying and uplifting and motivating fall a little flat.
I was invited to be a featured guest on The Spiritually Sassy Show
and when that happened last week, my mind was BLOWN because only the day before I had set the intention to be a guest on more podcasts and BOOM
- the opportunity to be on one of the biggest global podcasts manifested before me.
I was elated. The evidence that anything is possible and that there would be opportunities even beyond my wildest dreams made available to me with ease felt SO GOOD.
Here is what happened yesterday as that episode was released.
Not a thing.
Nothing changed within my world.
I wasn't expecting anything (a parade would have been nice but I know it was a little short notice for that) but what was more interesting yesterday was that what I REALLLLY GOT for myself was that nothing inside of me had changed either.
I had been telling myself that I would rise into my own power, my sense of authority and finally truly own my giftedness in the space of spiritual life coaching and somatic activated healing - once there were bigger opportunities to be seen.
I let my own story of being “small fry from a small town in this world” justify all the ways Ive been playing at about 50% of what I know I am capable of. I told myself the lie that I just needed a big opportunity to be made visible on a bigger platform AND THEN Id be able to really go for it.
So, yesterday, as that episode went live I had a moment of rude realisation as I realised that a big green light for my purpose and passion hadnt instantly appeared.
In fact, nothing happened.
We tell ourselves that we arent living life in the way that we want to because we are waiting for certain opportunities to give us the go ahead. To be the green light to our next level.
Maybe its waiting for a relationship before you travel or invest in property.
Maybe its waiting to be asked to offer your opinion in a meeting instead of asserting yourself confidently.
Maybe its waiting to lose weight before you start wearing clothing that reflects your personality a little more.
Maybe its waiting to be more qualified or experienced before you share a post about something you are passionate about on social media.
Maybe its waiting until you feel like less of an imposter before you start charging for the work you do (and charging what your service is truly worth)
Theres a lot of personal hand braking we do within our own lives - slowing ourselves down, keeping ourselves small, suffering in the stagnation of our own overthinking and when we think its something outside of ourselves that we need to shift all of that from within us… we are likely setting ourselves up to wait for something that never comes.
What we need is to truly take agency and authority over our own being. To reclaim the power that we have at any time to truly decide for ourselves that we are giving ourselves the green light to make moves, take action, generate change and witness ourselves rising to new levels of confidence within ourselves.
We dont have to wait for anything outside of ourselves to activate the audacity to know that THIS IS THE LIFE WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN and that we actually dont know how much time we have left to really just go for the things that we are curious about for ourselves.
So my loves, I have an invitation for you.
If like me, you are going through an uplevelling of your own life or moving through or towards a significant shift - putting to rest the versions of you that dont have a place in the future you are choosing can be a beautiful symbol to honor your past self.
We arent here to shit all over who we have been or judge ourselves for not being enough up until this point - but if you know that who you have been is not going to get you to where you ultimately want to go, I invite you to join me in an experience that will support us in reflecting on what you need to release in order to begin.
If you are ready to let go of energies, behaviours and patterns that no longer serve you and ready to activate a new version of yourself - this invitation is for you.
I invite you into an activation experience that will ask you to gather some artifacts in your home, light a candle, write a eulogy and celebrate and honor yourself deeply with me.
Letting go of whats been and generating the audacity to activate whats ready to be birthed from within you into this one beautiful life of yours.