If you have ever wondered what it might be like to decide to erase everything about who you are, what you do, where you live, how you make money, even who you are married to and effectively just start over .. I am here as your “what if” in motion because thats exactly what I did just as I turned 29 years old.
A lifetime of questioning “is this how I do life right?” with no answer that ever satisfied my complex craving for the experience of something more, had me feeling like I was losing touch with myself and the world a little more day by day.
Since I was a child I have been innately able to use my imagination to make something out of nothing. The wild games I invited my friends into transported us far away from the mundane, seemingly boring reality of the lives that had been set out for us. My imagination created the opportunity for us to be adventuring, rebelling, breaking the mould and becoming heroines in the hallucinated stories we decided to tell for ourselves.
This was encouraged and even considered cute as a child, but as I got older, my desire to escape the reality that I was experiencing intensified as I felt the tensions and pressures of living in a home with significant dysfunction, chaos and unpredictability - that presented as put together and a-ok to the outside world.
From the outside, my family maintained the façade of a normal, working class family – but behind closed doors there was a heaving melting pot of lies, scandal, deceit, emotional neglect & an undercurrent of shame that had me drowning in my own chaos and confusion.