How to Activate Confidence
Dec 15, 2022
Confidence is seen as a sort of armour that you can strap on before you wage war on the people, places and things that make you feel insecure, uncertain and unworthy. We believe that confidence will give us the strength we need to have a quicker wit, sharper tongue, stronger instincts.
We have been bombarded with images of women in power suits, aggressively asserting their input in crowded rooms, relentlessly pushing themselves to outrun and outlast the pace of the rat race and declaring that they don’t need anyone to support them in any way. I am woman – watch me do this thing called life alone.
This has not been my experience with confidence.
The truth is, I don’t wake up with innate confidence.
My life experience has given me an internal radar that is constantly on the look out for danger. My inner child is a little warrior – ready for the next uphill battle. She is aware that at any moment, things could change. Stability and security is scarce. 30 something years later, I wake up into my beautiful life – with a frightened inner child, panicking about how quickly it could all be taken away.
At 5am she is already bracing for someone to say or do something that is going to change everything in the blink of an eye.
The truth is, I don’t wake up with innate confidence.
My life experience has given me an internal radar that is constantly on the look out for danger. My inner child is a little warrior – ready for the next uphill battle. She is aware that at any moment, things could change. Stability and security is scarce. 30 something years later, I wake up into my beautiful life – with a frightened inner child, panicking about how quickly it could all be taken away.
At 5am she is already bracing for someone to say or do something that is going to change everything in the blink of an eye.
Its impossible to feel confident when you are compelled to be defensive, guarded and on high alert.
The problem? In order to support and nurture my frightened inner child, I have to continue to build a life that provides the security and stability she craves.
I have to make deep connections so that I can experience trusting, loving relationships. I also need to invest my energy into building businesses that generate wealth for my family – the kind of money that gives us the freedom of choice and the luxury of never having to worry about how bills are going to be paid.
If I am going to show up fully in my relationships and in my businesses – I need the confidence to do that.
But heres the thing – the kind of confidence I am talking about doesn’t require me to suit up with impenetrable armour, guns blazing, ready to dominate the day and take down anyone in my way.
I realised that I need to generate the kind of confidence that allows me to release myself from the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that a lifetime of co dependency has embedded within me.
I needed the kind of confidence that gives me freedom from the urge to engage in people pleasing. I needed confidence to allow myself to be seen.
I realised that I need to generate the kind of confidence that allows me to release myself from the thoughts, feelings and behaviours that a lifetime of co dependency has embedded within me.
I needed the kind of confidence that gives me freedom from the urge to engage in people pleasing. I needed confidence to allow myself to be seen.
We think we need to be confident enough to ask for connection, support & understanding because we are bracing for rejection we have experienced in the past.
More so, we have been told believe we cant control the way we feel.
This was the first thing I had to unlearn. I understood that in fact, our thoughts create our feelings. The BIGGEST SHIFT occurred when I realised one thing – we get to choose to believe anything we want.
That is what opened me up to understanding that confidence was not something I had to wait to experience. I could cultivate confidence through developing a deep understanding of my own spirituality. The innate knowing within me. The truth at the base of my being.
Remembering who I was, what I was worthy of and just how powerfully I could align myself to a life that provided context for the very confidence I intended to embody.
I invite you to consider your thoughts for a moment.
The metaphysical text A Course in Miracles articulates and teaches, “There are no ‘idle’ thoughts. All thinking produces form on some level.”
So, what we can begin to remember is that every single thought that we have emits energy. That energy either brings us close to the supportive slip stream of the Universe or repels and resists it. It is the energy behind our thoughts that directly impacts our experience of self, others and the world.
When we have anxiety driven, low-vibe thoughts lopping and repeating, it creates an energetic momentum that will begin to manifest into our lives.
So, what we can begin to remember is that every single thought that we have emits energy. That energy either brings us close to the supportive slip stream of the Universe or repels and resists it. It is the energy behind our thoughts that directly impacts our experience of self, others and the world.
When we have anxiety driven, low-vibe thoughts lopping and repeating, it creates an energetic momentum that will begin to manifest into our lives.
For example, when I gave birth to my son, I kept repeating the thought “Im the only one that knows what he needs, it has to be me that does everything.”
This is a reoccurring story for me, in many contexts. I had this thought on repeat over and over and it became my reality. In the first few months of motherhood, I ended up micromanaging every need of my son and felt unsupported because I wouldn’t let anyone else do anything, and in turn, nobody else knew how to meet his unique needs.
My thoughts about being the only one that knew what he needed and having to do everything became my experience.
This is a reoccurring story for me, in many contexts. I had this thought on repeat over and over and it became my reality. In the first few months of motherhood, I ended up micromanaging every need of my son and felt unsupported because I wouldn’t let anyone else do anything, and in turn, nobody else knew how to meet his unique needs.
My thoughts about being the only one that knew what he needed and having to do everything became my experience.
Over the last few years it has become blatantly obvious to me when I am out of alignment because I become fixated and focused on doing, producing, creating “outside” goals rather than being compelled to deeply experience the joys of life available to me, through me,as me.
When I am in misalignment I actually become MORE productive as I busy myself with trying to control my circumstances. I am easily irritated, my energy dips and I feel drained, withdrawn and unable to connect.
When I am in misalignment I actually become MORE productive as I busy myself with trying to control my circumstances. I am easily irritated, my energy dips and I feel drained, withdrawn and unable to connect.
When Im in alignment with the Universe I feel joyful and buzz with a feeling of anticipation of good things to come, regardless of what my circumstances may be. I feel resilient and hopeful even when problems or obstacles present themselves and Im able to most past challenges without fixating or obsessing over them.
Exciting things flow to me, people receive me and support me and doors open as I am shown the way forward towards the very things I desire.
Exciting things flow to me, people receive me and support me and doors open as I am shown the way forward towards the very things I desire.
“Being in alignment” actually isn’t a difficult or complicated thing – it only asks that you truly desire it and choose it.
Gabby Bernstein advocates for this and confirms in her teaching that “in an instant we can forgive our fear and choose again. We can start a new story, shift our perceptions, and allow miracles to unfold. Low vibe thoughts become addictive, and as with any addiction, we need to interrupt the pattern to heal it.”
Gabby Bernstein advocates for this and confirms in her teaching that “in an instant we can forgive our fear and choose again. We can start a new story, shift our perceptions, and allow miracles to unfold. Low vibe thoughts become addictive, and as with any addiction, we need to interrupt the pattern to heal it.”
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BREAK FREE FROM NEGATIVITY AND DRAMA CYCLES
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Activating your willingness to step up as the leader of your own life & write the next chapter of your story.
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