Emotional Fitness for Life

Do you feel too deeply? Or are you at the other end of the spectrum and switch off and feel dead inside? Or do you swing between both of these experiences?

I felt like I did that for years – either twisted with anxiety and sobbing in the shower OR completely disconnected from everything, including myself. Both a tortured way of being. Both making me hate myself just a little more each day.

So if you see me today, in awe of life, in love with my being and devoted to encouraging you to take tiny steps towards freedom within yourself – don’t be tricked into thinking “easy for you to say” because let me tell you, it has NOT been easy for me.

But its been worth it. You are worth the effort too.

My work now is in teaching women that its entirely possible to integrate support systems into our lives that allow us to process feelings and emotions AS THEY ARISE (lets stop repressing, resenting and exploding ok?!)

When we become truly aware of our own emotions and feelings we might become a little overwhelmed by just how much arises. You will learn and then its important to remember, that not every feeling and emotion that we experience is an indicator of the truth.

What indicates the truth – is your response to your feelings as they arise & your response to feelings is based on your depth of connection to the heart.

Ive spent a decade sharing how to get physically fit – and now Im making up for lost time and sharing more about WORKING IN – trying to support women in developing emotional fitness.

When you are emotionally fit, things don’t get to you in the same way as they did in the past – you are not taken by every single, thought, emotion, feeling, every single distraction.

From your inner world through to your outer world you have loving awareness.

From this place is where we work to release the grip of our conditioning to not react and respond in the same old ways that have hurt us, kept us stuck in the past, and made us feel miserable again and again.

This process isn’t about “getting results” rather its about removing things and clearly identifying what’s not serving us and doing something about it.  We remember our true awakened nature, which is actually filled with possibility and potential.

We realise things aren’t as they appear – they are much better, and their potential is endless.

About 5 years ago, after I woke up to a lot of my own bullshit, I uprooted myself and went overseas on my own version of a spiritual cleanse. I removed ALL the things in my life that I relied on for comfort or a distraction and spent a month feeling everything that I had denied up until that very moment in time.

It was overwhelming. Without a plan for how I was going to process everything that came up for me, there was a lot of crying on the floor of a hotel room shower & then breaking my own commitment to sobriety and taking the edge off with Valium and Xanax, unprescribed, unmonitored, unaware of how powerfully I could actually move through everything I was feeling with the right practices to support me.

Each morning I would wake up, groggy, thoughtless, uninspired. Id witness myself rise, wash my face, drink coffee, get dressed, and get out the door. Id walk, taking in big breaths of air, waking myself up, shifting my energy, affirming the life that was in my body.

Id wonder why. How was it even possible with all the torture within me, that I was still taking care of myself in this way. It was my heart. My true nature. At the base of my being was the truth – I was not giving up on myself.

When I recognised there was a part of me that felt worthy & innately good – I began to realise that most of what I was thinking and feeling was a reflection of my conditioning and not who I truly was.

From that place I began to serve what was at the base of my being.

At that time in my life, I felt inspired by the essence of the serenity prayer which is recited in the 12 step program for Alcoholics Anonymous and it supported me in orienting myself each day to devote time and practice to not only feeling things, but to be able to discern whats real and whats not.  

Here is an adapted version of that prayer :

Ive made peace with the things I cannot change,

I have the courage to change the things that I can

& I have the wisdom to know the difference.

If there is a part of you that is suffering, I am devoted to helping you acknowledge that you are deserving – you have all the tools you need, the community you need, the internal resources you need to be the best you, and if you don’t in this moment, trust that whatever is missing is coming to you – you are enough.

Of all the things that devoted inner work has gifted me – I think the fact that I live in a perpetual state of “not giving a fuck” has to be one of the best!

I cannot count the number of times in a day I will think, feel and say those words.

I mean this in the most empowering & aware way.

Giving zero fucks is declaring that I am enough.  

When we begin to work on ourselves, the things that feel really good to us might seem strange to others. Whatever you are doing that is helping you uncover your heart and connect with whats at the base of your being – do it unapologetically.

Giving zero fucks doesn’t mean that you don’t care about other people or the world. 

It means you have a singular focus  on taking care of you, which means believing in you, having your own back, not depending on the validation of others & freely doing what you want.

What someone else thinks, believes, feels, expects of me, requires of me, says, does or implies…has NOTHING to do with me.

I don’t give a fuck.  

Giving zero fucks means that means you are no longer driven by what others think.

This means we learn that we don’t need approval, validation, affirmation or praise from another. When you develop a deep relationship with self – you realise you have NEVER actually needed any of that to be fully expressed and who you really are. You always have the freedom to be who you are, do what you want, love how you want, live as you want.