My body and I are rebuilding our relationship day by day
Nov 13, 2022
My body held on even after I had treated it so badly.
In my darkest hours, when my soul had shattered, exhausted, fractured, disillusioned and my mind had abandoned reality - disconnected, disassociating, making me feel like I was disappearing … my body held on.
My body continued for me.
My body marched forward when I believed I had been defeated.
I had spent a lifetime scanning my body in mirrors and frowning at its reflection. I had starved it. I had overwhelmed it. I had numbed it with drugs and let it be touched by hands that had no right to it.
I had declared it imperfect, unworthy, repulsive. I had wished for another body.
That same body held no resentment.
That same body continued to function for me, as me even when I didn’t know myself.
That is why I live my life in devotion to my own body.
That is why I bring my awareness to the existence I experience through this one body I have been gifted for this life.
I return home, to my body again and again.
Feeling it’s forgiveness. Expanding in its safety. Loving it gratefully.
My body does the best it can. My body gives all it has so that I can experience myself in this life.
That is why I will no longer shame it, or measure it, or set goals to demand that it conform to fit the expectation of a society that is in pursuit of external validation.
My body and I are rebuilding our relationship day by day - I whisper sorry to her and she relaxes, knowing I’m home & that I’ll take care of her from now on.
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